Thursday, 19 July 2012

"It's Simple...We Rank The Batman..." ACTION A GO GO PRESENTS THE BEST OF BATMAN ON FILM!

Action A Go Go Presents...
The Best of Batman on Film!

(UPDATED WITH DARK KNIGHT RISING! Where does it stand? Find out below!!)

In a precious few hours, THE DARK KNIGHT RISES will be unleashed upon this world and will make a metric f*** ton  of money. Truly awe inspiring amounts of cash. But here's the ultimate question...will it be the best Batman movie? We don't know yet, but in the meantime we've gone ahead and ranked all of the previous Batman films for your reading pleasure. This is from worst to best, based on our incredibly complex (read : drunk) calculations. The top pick will surprise you. It surprised me. But no more blabber...here we go...


9. BATMAN AND ROBIN (1997)



Directed by Joel Schumacher, starring George Clooney as the Dark Knight, and possibly one of the worst movies ever made, BATMAN AND ROBIN had some great ingredients. Arnold Schwarzenegger, at the height of his powers, playing Mr. Freeze. The timeless Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. A then Uber famous Alicia Silverstone added to the roster of good guys. Chris O'Donnell back as Robin.
BATMAN FOREVER, while a departure from Burton’s blockbusters, was a huge financial success. So what went wrong in the forth installment in one of the most successful movie franchises of all time? Pretty much everything. Bad dialogue, a weak story, stilted acting, and over the top everything just didn't work.  Also, another face for BATMAN didn't help. 
The worst thing you could say is that everyone saw BATMAN FOREVER after seeing the Burtonrun of movies and just didn't like Joel Schumacher’s vision enough to see it again. 
Also, its failure killed an amazing franchise that dominated the 90's, which is a shame in itself. And George Clooney makes fun of it himself because it is a big black eye on his strange career. Does it have any redeeming qualities? Yes. But you forget about those after you see....BAT NIPPLES. Legendary for its missteps, its dead last.





8. BATMAN FOREVER (1995)



Joel Schumacher is not the anti-christ. While his resume includes the God awful BATMAN AND ROBIN, it also includes one of the most action-packed Batman films in the franchise's history (not to mention the most functional Bat-suit to execute said action), BATMAN FOREVER.
Sure, it comes off like a technicolor acid trip. Certainly, the production and costume designs feels like every gay stereotype imaginable, but if you take issue with that then you might as well take issue with every Batman comic before the 1970s. And it's still miles ahead of the movie that came immediately after this. 






7. BATMAN THE MOVIE (1966)




Now, let’s reach back…back…way back in time and explore this little gem from the past.
Directed by Leslie H Martinson and starring Adam West in his most memorable role, this movie set the tone for comic book movies for a generation whether you like it or not.
No one will admit it, but this is much more than a BATMAN movie. This is 60’s camp at its finest. Dripping with style, blessed with over the top performances, and just damn funny, this movie is a cultural milestone, a movie that took everything from the beloved T.V show and amped it up to a 1,000.
Does it have any faults? Yes, it’s 60’s era BATMAN. But when I was a kid I scooped this up like it was ice cream, and for a whole generation this is Batman, no matter how ridiculous. I could just go on and on. It’s colorful, smart, racially progressive (at least the show was), inventive, cinematically dynamic, and a pop culture phenomenon, this slice of American cinema is the best of its class and still entertaining to this day. Why is it only six? Because we’re looking at a bunch of movies that are just that good.

As a special treat, check out the whole movie right here!





6. BATMAN RETURNS (1992)



Tim Burton's sequel to 1989's BATMAN bares only passing resemblance to it's predecessor and has even less in common with the comics that spawned them. BATMAN RETURNS is all Tim Burton all the time, and yet, this fetish-y, hypnotic, oddity feels surprisingly at home in Gotham City.
It also features one of the best takes on the Penguin (a hilariously pervy Danny Devito) and our favorite version of Catwoman (played uber-kinky by Michelle Pfeiffer). 




5. THE DARK KNIGHT RISES (2012) (UPDATED FOR NEW RANKING)



Oh wow...what a movie this was. Epic in time and scale, Christopher Nolan tried to bring every weapon he could to this movie but at the end of the day...huh? Now, I liked the movie, loved certain parts, but once this thing get's going and hit's the second half everything is smashed into one big mess of a movie. Again, not bad, but not nearly as engrossing as THE DARK KNIGHT (2008) and not nearly as honest as BATMAN BEGINS (2005).  It's good...it's just not the best BATMAN movie ever. Read the full review here http://actionagogo.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-dark-knight-rises-review.html. But for now, it stands tall at number five.


4. THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)




Directed by Christopher Nolan and starring Christian Bale as the caped crusader, this was one for the ages.
What can’t be said about this movie that came out just four short years ago? It was epic. It was mind bending. It had the best Joker ever and got Heath Ledger an Oscar. Two Face, played by Aaron Eckhart, was just as twisted. It made incredible amounts of money. It had seamless special effects. 
To me it should be higher on this list, and to most it is, but we had to separate the best from the best here, and this one comes in at #4. Why? The purists say it’s not Batman. The haters say it’s bloated and dumb. True, the ending is bloated and there are some logic holes, and Heath Ledger's passing did bring in a totally new demographic (read: Chicks) that inflated the gross. But you know what? None of that matters.  This is an awesome Batman film that will stand for the ages as a top class movie that showed the world that comic book movies have grown up. The only question now is will THE DARK KNIGHT RISES put it to shame?





3. BATMAN BEGINS (2005)



Everyone loves THE DARK KNIGHT and I'm sure everyone will love THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, but Christopher Nolan's first film feels the most like...well, Batman.
Surprisingly, BATMAN BEGINS marks the first time in the character's 73 year history that his origin story has been detailed on screen. And what an origin story it is. While most superhero films limit the "how" to their first act, BATMAN BEGINS is entirely about Bruce Wayne's ascension to Dark Knighthood. Outside of Frank Miller's BATMAN YEAR ONE (which this film is largely based on), this movie is possibly the most satisfying Batman origin ever told. 





2. BATMAN (1989)


Directed by Tim Burton and starring Michael Keaton as the Dark Knight, This is my personal favorite of the bunch. Everybody from my generation grew up on this movie, and for good reason.
Tim Burton has said (supposedly) that he never read comics growing up. Fascinatingly enough, lots of directors of comic book movies say such things. I personally think he is full of bat sh** because his style of movie making fit so well with the character of Batman, and the world of Batman, that it can’t just be a coincidence. The music score (oh God...the amazing, beautiful score!), the tempo, the characters, all meld together so perfectly that it’s hard to imagine anybody else from the era directing a movie this good. 
'Til this day, I think Tim Burton's Gotham City is the defacto example of how you should build a setting for your characters. You can practically reach out and touch the stone walls and smell the steam coming up from the streets. Oh, by the way, did you know Jack Nicholson plays an awesome Joker? And that Michael Keaton is a great Bruce Wayne/Batman? Oh, it also inspired BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES, which is somewhere on this list. Is there anything bad to say about this movie? Yeah, a bunch of the kids who grew up on this film have started sh***** all over it for reasons that are petty and inconsequential. Besides that it’s a classic that should be enjoyed for what it is, a great movie. 





1.  BATMAN: MASK OF THE PHANTASM (1993)




Like 1989's BATMAN and 2005's BATMAN BEGINS, Phantasm adds a new spin on how Bruce Wayne became the dark knight setective. Unlike those films, however, it does so without anchoring itself entirely to BATMAN: YEAR ONE (Frank Miller's influential comic series) or awkwardly connecting the origin back to Batman's rouges gallery.
Traditionally, Batman films are more triumphs of design and spectacle than about genuine emotion. With BATMAN: MASK OF PHANTASM, the team responsible for the beloved 90s animated series gives us all the visual flare while dashing expectations of what a Batman film can do dramatically, giving the caped crusader a unique journey that has never been emotionally matched on film.






There! That does it! This is the end all, be all list until 12:01 when THE DARK KNIGHT RISES shows up to shake things up.

Do you disagree with our list? Do think we are full of Bat S**t? Then let us know in the comments!

And above all, enjoy yourselves this weekend! It's bound to be a good one....

****A Word From the Action A GO GO TEAM : As we all know, on Friday July 20th, minutes after I posted this, a terrible tragedy occurred in a theater in Aurora, Colorado during the screening of THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. As can be seen above, obviously I did not know what was going to occur or how horrible a weekend it would be for the victims of that event. I am not going to change the post because I believe when we change anything because of these maniacs they have somehow won, or affected us, which is what they want. Instead, I am going to leave it as is. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families, and I hope we can all learn from this terrible tragedy so that somehow, someway, we can put a stop to this senseless violence and get help to those who need it most.***


PS.

Did you like leather? I like leather....

Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman







Eartha Kitt







Julie Newmar








Lee Meriwether



And As of Today, The Lovely Ann Hathaway....I think she will do fine......





Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Savages



Stunts and Effects: 70% 
Logic: 85% 
Soundtrack: 65% 
TnA: 60% 
Cognitive Decline of Audience: 15% 
Overall Inches on the Action Erection Scale: 9 out of 12


Selma. Still as you remember her in FROM DUSK TIL DAWN, 
If you went off the trailers, Savages probably comes off like a hodge podge of crime film go-tos. You've got the rival drug dealers, the crooked cop who will inevitably turn on all parties involved, the two best buds who came into the biz together (one soft and the other a cold-blooded killer), and the female prized-possession that is destined to tear them apart. But what the commercials for Oliver Stone's latest film doesn't detail properly is that the direction and performances rescue it from being commonplace.

That's not to say that the cliches just disappear. As a matter of fact, Stone seems so aware of the crime-drama troupes that he refuses to settle on an ending in order to defy expectations. But by the point, the actors have already sold the concept for him. Particularly, Selma Hayek and Benecio Del Toro. The two performers get a sizeable chunk of screentime and waste none of it.




Thursday, 5 July 2012

ABRAHAM LINCOLN : VAMPIRE HUNTER - AX ME WHAT I THINK ABOUT THIS MOVIE




You ever show up at a movie theatre and just decide to watch something stupid? Something off the wall? Something you otherwise wouldn’t give a damn about? Many movies fit into this category of “f*** it, let go into a dark room and watch light bounce off a screen”. Such classics as SNAKES ON A PLANE (2006) and any movie with a genre name in the title (SCARY MOVIE (2000)(Good) and EPIC MOVIE (2006)(BAD) fit into this description. It was with such a mindset that I went to see ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER.

Produced by Tim Burton, Directed by Timir Bekmambetov, and starring a cast of relative unknowns, the movie did manage to surprise and (gasp!) entertain. Let’s dive into this oddball of a film and run from there.


THE STORY

Surprise, the story of this movie is not craptastic. Based on the novel by Seth Grahame-Smith (who actually penned the screenplay) it actually works. Is it historically blasphemous and hyperbolic? Sure it is. But it takes what it has seriously, and doesn’t pull punches.

Vampires have been occupying the South for a while now and have been using slaves as a food source for generations. After a vampire kills Lincolns mother he later gets recruited to reap AX revenge against them. Along the way he meets his wife and happens to become president. As if we needed anything else to make us feel lazy, am I right?

But, there are logic holes aplenty. For instance, what is the source of Lincoln’s almost superhuman strength in the film? He’s really f***ing angry. Seriously. That’s it. When you get angry you can do superhuman things. It’s not horrible, but it is lazy storytelling that adds unnecessary stupidity.

 Benjamin Walker and Mary Elizabeth Winstead at the premiere.

THE PEOPLE WHO GET PAID TO TALK

For such a potentially disastrous movie, the acting in the film is actually quite excellent. Benjamin Walker plays honest Abe. He is commendable, if slightly forgettable. Dominic Cooper (Captain America (2011)) plays Henry Sturgess, the man who recruits Lincoln into slayerhood, and he plays a wonderful drunken lady/vampire hunter. Anthony Mackie plays Will Johnson, Lincolns old friend and future bodyguard, and the vastly underrated Jimmi Simpson plays Joshua Speed, another of Lincolns longtime friends and assistant vampire slayer.

The stand out is Mary Elizabeth Winstead. She manages to pull out a heartfelt, serious performance from a film about Abraham Lincoln hunting vampires and for that she deserves an Oscar. Or at least a Gold Globe. Cause she is great. And I’m not just writing that because she is hot like I usually do. I’m writing this cause she can act!

                              Anthony Mackie posses next to the blood sucker slayer.

THE VAMPIRES

The Vampires, while passable, have one fatal flaw: they walk around during the day. What the hell is this garbage? That sh** belongs in Twilight and it needs to stay there with the rest of the non blood sucking pansies. Just saying. I want Vampires in my Vampire movies, not vegans.

TIMIR AND TIM, TOGETHER AGAIN

Tim Burton and Timir Bekmambetov came together to produce 9 (2009), a slick but ultimately disappointing movie about puppets meant to save humanity from complete eradication after the apocalypse. Since then ALVH is there first collaboration.

So, Timir I have a problem with. He is celebrated for the NIGHT WATCH Series and WANTED . I have not seen the former but have seen the later. WANTED (2008) featured a rock star cast and a…wait for it…a loom of fate that tells assassins who to kill. There were good action sequences and a fight club like f*** you attitude, but besides that I thought it was a pretty awful movie whose real claim to fame is Angelina Jolie’s ass. What really bugs me is that the movie is celebrated and name dropped like it’s the Citizen Kane of Action movies when it’s clearly…absolutely…not.

But, having said that, Timir does a good job with ALVH. For how ridiculous this movie gets there is a dedication to the tone, to selling it, that I have to admire, and for that reason the movie does make you stick with it. For instance, there’s a part where Lincoln and a vampire are riding a stampede through Illinois. I was about to cringe, but to my surprise it works. Horses are thrown, they jump from one to the other, and it just looks good. It’s fun stuff, and while I may never forget how disappointed I was with WANTED, I do have to admit I’ll be more interested when his next movie rolls around.



Now, what is Tim Burton doing not directing this movie? Instead, he recently came out with DARK SHADOWS (2012), starring his muse Helena Bonham Carter and his other muse Johnny Depp. I saw it, and it was good (should have blogged about it, but what eves) and I liked it. Oh, and Eva Green is amazing. But I wish he directed this instead. He could have taken it to another level, a weirder level, and the movie would have been better for it. In Hollywood directors produce movies they think they cannot, or should not, direct themselves. Lucas did not direct STAR WARS: The Empire Strikes Back (1980). Spielberg did not direct TRANSFORMERS (2007) (DAMN IT!). And Burton passed on this. I think it was a mistake. This would have put him outside of his wheelhouse and challenged him a bit. But that is just my two cents. It’s still a good action movie. Dumb. Real dumb. But good.

Final Verdict

Check it out. It’s good for a laugh and might just surprise. Just don’t expect anything to be illuminated.

PS. Here are some interesting glamour shots of the Ms. Winstead,


                                            A still from Tarantino's DEATH PROOF (2007)


                                                 Not sure where this is from....


                                                                              

                                                  Or these, but they belongs right here...

PPS. And since this became an impromptu review of DARK SHADOWS, I just happened to have found some stills of Eva Green lying around...silly me.