EXPENDABLES 2: THE ULTIMATE REVIEW / CELEBRATORY EXPLOSIONGASM ~ action a go go

EXPENDABLES 2: THE ULTIMATE REVIEW / CELEBRATORY EXPLOSIONGASM

They did it. It finally happened. EXPENDABLES 2 has arrived. Oh gosh…so just about every action movie star hero from the eighties has been rounded up and put into the same movie. What could go wrong?

Surprisingly little.

So let’s just jump in to this one.

THE STORY AND THE ACTING

Simen West (Con Air (1997), Tomb Raider (2001)) directs this beast, leaving Stallone to do that acting he does so well. He does a commendable job. Flat out, and I think this movie is better that the original in a couple of way’s.

But staying on subject, The Expendables are out for revenge after one of them is murdered in cold blood by Vilain (get it? Played by…wait for it…Jean Claude Van Damme). Vilain then proceeds to find a hidden depot so that he can sell Cold War plutonium to the highest bidder. And that’s all we need really.

First off, hat’s off to Van Damme in this one. He chews his lines and eats the scenery, but it’s great. You really tell he’s enjoying being in a real (sorry, straight to DVD don’t cut it) action movie again, and he relishes the spotlight. Oh, and he’s still got it. There’s one kick that looks like it’s straight out of BLOODSPORT (1988). That impresses me because he’s been making movies as long as I’ve been alive (b. 1984, if you’re interested).

What about everyone else? This isn’t really a movie about emoting, but it works. Bruce Willis, for some reason, acts his ass off. Really. It’s probably his most emotive performance since the last (good) DIE HARD film and he really shines. Arnold is Arnold.

Chuck Norris is a great addition, and does the best Chuck Norris he can. They even throw is a Chuck Norris joke that would be better left on the internet, but what eves. Lundren and Jet Li are awesome as well.

I'm running out of room for all these awesome action movie stars. Crazy.

Terry Crews and Randy Couture are commendable, and Liam Hemsworth was ok. It’s a shame really, but it’s a head scratcher to try and think about who is really an “action” star these day’s that can really stack up to the core cast. But that’s what eve’s.

Nan Yu, playing Maggie, the only person seemingly capable of using a computer, does a commendable job.

THE GOOD…

Oh….the action, the action, the action. For me, bar THE AVENGERS, this is the best action movie of the year. Scratch that, it is the best action movie of the year. There are so many “oh sh**” moments in this movie I lost count. And it was rated R!!! There were rumors of PG-13, but thankfully those rumors didn’t come true because this movie was one bitching blood fest. Just seeing all of the great action star’s destroying bad guys together was worth the price of admission, and warmed this action junkie’s heart.

Besides that, what does anyone need?

Well, it’s shot well, and the jokes are pretty funny, and all the heroes deliver. Just go see it. Now.

THE BAD…

The dialogue can be stock and some of the acting is less than top notch. Everyone seemed like they were a bit too dressed up to be mercenaries at times and looked like they were out of a catalogue.

But this ain’t Shakespeare, it’s an action movie. The only real downside is that there wasn’t another half hour tacked on there at the end.

Seriously, this was top notch stuff.

THE VERDICT

This movie was everything I was waiting for and more. For me it really delivered, and keeps doing so throughout. The gimmick of seeing all these action heroes together, again, is just too sweet, and I can’t wait for # 3.

If they can get Segal and Snipes in there I think the action circle will truly be complete. But that is my two cents.

This one is late, but if you haven’t seen it yet please do. EXPENDABLES 2 is better than the original, and more fun, which is hard to believe. It maxes out the charts. GO GO GO!!!!

PS: WHY HAVEN’T YOU SEEN IT YET? GO!

PPS:

Just a few pictures of this NanYu…just laying here.

**** As one of our astute readers pointed out (thanks GOUKI!) This first image right here isn't actually of Nan Yu! It is actually a picture of (super) model Huang Xiao Meng. We do apologize for making mistakes like this, but lists like this -> http://www.heavy.com/movies/2012/08/yu-nan-top-10-things-you-need-to-know/ <- don't help. Also, in my defense, this does show up in her Google image results, and all that dirt is very, very distracting :)

Complicating matters further, when you do a search for Huang Xiaomeng you get a bunch of images of a dude with a similar name that is a HUGE STAR. That would be Huang Xiaoming. His pictures are at the end (because we gotta throw out something for the ladies here too!)*****

Anyway, just to be clear, below are images of Huang Xiaomeng (courtesy of Elle China and Numero China) closely followed by Nan Yu.