AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN "Fearful Pranks Ensue" Review

Oftentimes when dealing with a show that's consistently a mixed-bag, the stars will align there'll be one stand out episode that will perfectly balance all the elements within it and serve as a shining example of what ought to be the show's regular standard. While I have enjoyed American Horror Story: Coven thus far, entirely because it's numerous fantastic elements overshadow its mediocre ones, I would be lying if said I believed the show had really embraced its potential. That is, until I saw Fearful Pranks Ensue.

For the first time all season, the Coven writers have crafted an episode that works on every level. Every character and every subplot are engaging and work marvelously. The draggy "zombie-Kyle" subplot that was a bore to sit through features very little here, and what is presented works much better than it had previously. Without the mediocrity to muddy the waters and weigh the show down, the truly phenomenal parts of Coven shine twice as bright; Jessica Lange gives her best performance of the season thus far in this episode, as biting and quick-witted as ever but with an added layer of emotional resonance that had been lacking prior. The world of witchcraft is beginning to fill itself out as well, for the first time we really get the sense that other, magically-related things are happening outside of the scope of this particular Coven. The horror elements also work as well (which shouldn't be quite the achievement it actually is given this shows purported subject matter), it's creepy, it's gory and it's moderately intense; everything I wanted this show to be.

The universe Ryan Murphy and Brad Fulchuk built for themselves in Coven is one that will only be properly utilized as long as it doesn't take itself too, too seriously. The first three episodes were weighed down by incessant preaching and heavy-handed "messages", as well as subplots which were too dramatically serious for a show this silly to handle in a satisfying manner. Pranks does away with most of these problems by focusing on the strengths this particular story lends itself to; bitchy, violent, sassy, creepy drama. The themes of marginalization and oppression are relegated to the position they should have been in from the start; subtext. The oppressive straight-faced performing is done away with entirely. In its place we're given Jessica Lange and Frances Conroy going at each other in a battle of wits and deception, we get voodoo zombies tearing people apart, we get a mute Denis O'Hare having a tea party with a corpse in a room full of creepy dolls, we get THIS LINE: "If she's dead she probably got wasted and tried to offer the Grim Reaper a handjob or something.", AND we get voodoo zombies that tear a bunch of racist murderers limb-from-limb! The entire thing is completely insane and every second of it is monstrously entertaining. Coven is slowly but surely learning how to have fun, and is finding the best, most satisfying version of itself in the process.

If this episode is a one-time anomaly, then I'm glad it happened. If it's a sign of the quality of the show to come, then color me excited. Very, very excited.

Grade: A

Other Thoughts

Every other line in this episode was a venomous and sassy insult and it was just the best thing. Also, it has Leslie Jordan as a wonderfully flamboyant member of The Council, I mean, how can you beat that?

The cold open flashback to the sixties was killer in every way possible. And voodoo zombies are even better than regular zombies!

On a less jovial note: kinda unclear on exactly what happened with Queenie there... Did Bastien rape her? Or did he just attack her? Was her proposition to him last episode just a diversion tactic or an act of lonely desperation? Even bigger question: do I actually expect the show to address any of the preceding questions? (The answer being "No, you idiot")

I will never get over that "Grim Reaper Handjob" line.

And I'm actually slightly depressed that Bastien is dead (? Kinda? Just decapitiated?). The literalized Minotaur was just too creepy and zany to feature significantly in only one episode. I'm hoping they find a way to bring him back.

Andrew Allen is a television (and occasionally film) writer for Action A Go Go. He is an aspiring screenwriter and director who is currently studying at the University of Miami. You can check him out on Tumblr @andrewballen and follow him on Twitter @A_B_Allen.

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AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN "The Replacements" Review

How exactly does one review an episode of television like this? It's something of a challenge to grade something which seemingly has no intention of adhering to the generally accepted criteria of storytelling by which one can assess its quality. The Replacements is not something I can strictly refer to as a "narrative". Although it has running themes and connecting sequences that bookend the episode, it plays more like an assembly of increasingly strange (and increasingly disturbing) set pieces that have little or no relation to each other, while they still all somehow connect to the overarching plot of the show. Never before in my life have I been subjected to an episode of TV that contained incestuous rape, animal-sacrificing fertility rituals, surprise masturbation, three murders and semi-bestiality all within its 42 minute runtime. But my goodness does AHS take the plunge and somehow manages to shove all of that and more into The Replacements, and it's as off putting (presumably intentionally) as it sounds.

The overarching theme of this episode happens to be sex (go figure), and how sex relates to a group of people who all have identity issues in most cases related to aging. Fiona's struggles with youthfulness (more specifically, the lack thereof), are expressed through her inability to attract men at this point in her life. Madison uses her young female form to try and attract the sights of the Coven's new, hot neighbor boy (who I'll get to momentarily). Cordelia's inability to reproduce leads her to attempt to enlist the aid of Marie Laveau and her ability to grant fertility. And finally, Queenie apparently has sexual fulfillment issues, leading her to attempt to initiate sex with a Minotaur she finds wandering around the backyard (in a scene I have not yet fully processed and am not sure I really want to). One way or another, every story this episode ties back to sex. And where sex and American Horror Story meet, things get weird. Like, really, really weird. 

In an unusual move for this show, however, none of the sex in this episode is particularly graphic or provocative. On the contrary, it's actually quite disturbing, which presents us with an unusual message for a Ryan Murphy show: in Coven, sex is the enemy. It is a desirable fruit that many desire (see Queenie, Madison and Fiona), but turns out to be a poisonous weapon used for harm (Zoe's murderous vagina, Madison getting raped, Kyle suffering molestation at the hands of his own mother). Aside from the scene last week between Cordelia and her husband, sex has been an uncomfortable, repulsive thing all season long. And it's a theme that shows no sign of dissipating, which makes me wonder how crucial it will be to Coven's endgame.  

Now, back to the neighbor boy I referenced before. As it turns out he's the son of Patti LuPone's character (I've been waiting for her to show up!) and, rather disappointingly, she's relegated to the Ryan Murphy staple role of "Bible-thumping nutter". And maybe it's my personal faith, or maybe it's just my distaste for stereotypes, but this particular character feels very tired and very thin. At this Murphy has basically run out of angry things to yell at the Christian conservative contingent (of whom I swear he has never actually met a single one). I mean really, when Fiona hisses "you're the biggest perverts of them all." What's that supposed to mean? Does she mean that they do some kinky stuff behind closed doors? Does she mean they're literally rapey perverts? Does she mean they use religion to repress their own sexual desire? Really, what is that even supposed to mean? It's the broadest, thinnest kind of attack one could make. And I found myself utterly confused rather than offended (not that I get offended at this point, I've developed a thick enough skin from watching TV and know what to expect when a "Christian" character walks onscreen). And I'm concerned that Murphy thinks a character simply walking around with "The Good Book", going to Bible study and saying "Jesus" on occasion (btw, who does that?) actually qualifies them as some sort of villain. The show certainly treats her as such, but comes up with no sufficient reason other than "because we don't like people who think like that" (a rhetoric which, apparently unbeknownst to Murphy, sharply goes against the themes of acceptance and diversity he so decidedly threads through all of his shows). The character is tired, she's a bore, she's thinly written, and I'm not really looking forward to seeing more of her around this show, which is a bummer as I was pretty excited to see some Patti LuPone on my TV. 

That unfortunate plot thread aside, in regards to it's apparent mission statement: "hammer home the overarching themes and be super weird about it", The Replacements is a smashing success. Say what you want about the characters having thin motivations (actually, that's mostly been me saying that), but it cannot be said that this episode of American Horror Story was ever boring. Which is all anybody ever wants out of this show, isn't it? To never, ever be the slightest bit boring? Welp, good Mr. Murphy, Mr. Fulchuk and the rest of the writing staff. Mission accomplished.   

Grade: B (I think? I dunno. Let's just say it was a "B" and call it a night)

Other thoughts

Again, WTF was that scene with Queenie and the Minotaur? How am I supposed to process watching Gabourey Sidibe touch herself in front of a dude with a cow's head?

Speaking of which, that is a kickin band name: "Queenie and the Minotaur"

Also, apparently getting voodoo resurrected with a bulls head on you gives you hooves and Minotaur hands? I'm so confused. Why didn't Laveau just take the stupid bull's head off and then resurrect him?

Sorry, I'm really stuck on this Minotaur business. It's just so weird.

A lot of people seemed surprised at how early Madison got killed off. Which makes sense considering Emma Roberts is playing her. But from a writing perspective? Killing off the bitchy movie-star early on makes the most sense.

Killer Quote: "This coven doesn't need a new Supreme, it needs a new rug."

Andrew Allen is a television (and occasionally film) writer for Action A Go Go. He is an aspiring screenwriter and director who is currently studying at the University of Miami. You can check him out on Tumblr @andrewballen and follow him on Twitter @A_B_Allen.

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AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN "Bitchcraft" and "Boy Parts" Reviews

NOTE: Last week when American Horror Story: Coven premiered I hadn't been planning on reviewing it. But after the first two episodes it seems I've had a change of heart and weekly coverage will commence as of now. I've pulled the first two episodes into one review as I felt the premiere episode was essential to review in order to give you readers a solid sense of where I stand on this season as a whole. Also, there will be spoilers.

Let me make this one-hundred percent clear: I do not like the work of Ryan Murphy, and by extension, Brad Fulchuk. They seemingly lack the ability to comprehend the concepts of subtlety and nuance, both of which are a necessity in any kind of sustainable storytelling. Take the first installment of American Horror Story (which has now retroactively been titled Murder House, a name which perfectly captures precisely how devoid of subtlety these two are). Murphy's sensibilities worked sharply against a concept that would need quiet moments and restraint in pacing in order to work effectively. And so, Murder House ended up being a clunky mess that is neither engaging nor frightening. Murphy's affinity for the shamefully obtuse sapped that season of any narrative depth and tension, essentially neutering it's ability to be the effective "horror story" it's title suggests. The same can be said of any of his shows, but Murder House is the best example of Murphy gone horribly and grotesquely awry.

Which brings us to American Horror Story: Coven, which lured me back to the series (I skipped Asylum out of disdain for the first season) due to my intense love for New Orleans culture, horror, and the mix of the two. And for the first time, in my experience, Ryan Murphy has actually found a platform where his particular style not only suits the material, but actually enhances it. Witchcraft and Voodoo are subjects that both thematically lend themselves to theatricality, and if there's one thing Ryan Murphy knows how to do, it's put on a show. *cue lavish musical number here*

Episode One: Bitchcraft

Our first episode, appropriately titled Bitchcraft is a remarkably balanced hour of AHS. It's narrative is clear and the characters each get enough of the spotlight to establish themselves and their place in the group dynamic. The performances of Kathy Bates, Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson really anchor this first episode, the former two giving a full dosage of the tongue-in-cheek camp that makes this show fun, and the latter really providing a credible heart to a story otherwise preoccupied with profound selfishness. Gabourey Sidibe and Jamie Brewer also seem to be having fun, both are rather one-note, but in a charming way, rather than in the insufferable manner that so often infests Ryan Murphy shows. Speaking of which, rounding out our ensemble are Taissa Farmiga and Emma Roberts, who take up a peculiar amount of screen time for characters who are neither very likable or particularly interesting. Farmiga's character, Zoe, is a flake and Roberts' Madison is an unsavory spoiled brat who is impossible to pity. Their subplot, which involves gang-rape and murder by magical vagina is both unpleasant and too straight-faced to be fun like the most rest of the episode. This presents a problem which happens to be the biggest problem with the premiere episode (and of this show in general): it is completely unclear when it is being tongue-in-cheek and when it is being serious. 

In a show as ridiculous and over-the-top as AHS tends to be, things get messy (and much, much less fun) when Murphy turns his eye to whatever social issue he's decided to messianically rectify this go-round. Coven happens to be "addressing" the issue of (sigh) slavery. Actually, prejudice and marginalization really seem to be the running themes, but slavery is the subject by which the show kicks off, and it doesn't go down quite like I assume Mr. Murphy and Mr. Fulchuk intended. The sequences in question, where Madame Delphine LaLaurie (Bates) takes it upon herself to torture her African slaves by means of disfiguration and experimentation, are neither silly enough to be tongue-and-cheek, nor are they genuine enough to be moving and serious. As they are, they're appalling and rather disturbing. The presentation of the scenes remains the same as any other in AHS; goofy and campy. But that does not change the fact that what is being portrayed onscreen is legitimately horrifying and saddening, and it left me with a distinctly bad taste in my mouth. I'm all for pushing boundaries and overriding taboos, but what we have here is quite simply a deeply painful subject matter that is being handled in a manner that is tasteless and verging on disrespectful. As genuine as Mr. Murphy may be, there are some issues that simply should not be touched by a man who has the nuance and sensitivity of a baseball bat to the nether regions.

Episode Two: Boy Parts

The gap between what works and what doesn't widens a bit further in the second episode, the best parts manage to far outdo anything in episode one, but the worst elements also come back with a vengeance. Here, Lange really gets to strut her stuff, doling out beautifully venomous verbal lashings and magically pimp-slapping angsty teenagers for their deeply aggravating incompetence. Angela Bassett is also given something to do in this episode as Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau, and she serves as a perfect foil to Lange's biting sass. Watching these titans masterfully handle the deliciously bitchy dialogue is a dependable source of joy, and the scene where these two go at it manages to largely make up for the rest of the episode's shortcomings. Lily Rabe and Sarah Paulson really manage to make the best out of mostly lackluster material here. Rabe's character is a bit too thin for her to really dive into and Paulson's story feels rushed and undercooked. That being said, both of the actresses know how to handle Murphy's dialogue and are competent enough to make their uninspired material enjoyable.

Unfortunately, the titular Madison/Zoe subplot takes a turn for the stupid-and-not-in-the-fun way in this episode, which is a shame because I don't see where it could possibly be going, and even worse, I don't care to find out. To be clear, I like Taissa Farmiga. I think she's a good actress who can really make her mark when given good material, but in the hyper-superficial Murphy-world, she simply doesn't have the pizazz to make her deeply silly dialogue work in her favor. Her character is thin as can be, her only defining trait being that she's an impulsive flake who spends way too much time crying to be any kind of fun. Sure, Farmiga is good at crying, that doesn't make this character or her story any less aggravating to sit through. Roberts, on the other hand, is almost fun. Her character has the air of colorful spitefulness that Murphy characters thrive off of, but her actual dialogue falls mostly flat, particularly in Boy Parts. On the subject of "boy parts", Evan Peters is embarrassing himself in this by no fault of his own. Peters playing Frankenstein opposite Farmiga's deathly serious performance is comedic, but in a "laugh at you not with you" kind of way. The "relationship" established between these two characters was never the slightest bit believable in the first place, so their scenes together are so devoid of dramatic meaning that they have nothing left to be except unintentionally funny. There is no compelling endgame to this subplot because there was never anything compelling about it or the characters in it and the less time wasted on it and them in the future, the better. Knowing Murphy I can only assume he'll continue plowing along based on the assumption that everybody and their mother cares about these particular characters and continue to give them an unwarranted amount of spotlight. But hey, if that's the price I have to pay to continue to watch Lange, Bassett and Bates chew the living hell out of every piece of scenery, then so be it. Totally worth it.

General Assessment

I like Coven. At it's core I really like what it's shooting to do. I like seeing Murphy's constantly misguided talents be put to some good use. I like seeing witches with cool powers do battle with each other all while delivering some seriously kicking one-liners and verbal beat downs. If this season of AHS can manage to stay on the track that these first two episodes have set up then I will love it to death. The more ridiculous, showy and over-the-top this thing gets, the better.

Bitchcraft grade: B

Boy Parts grade: B-

Other Thoughts:

I straight up laughed out loud at the reveal that Bastien has literally become a Minotaur. It was possibly the dumbest thing I had seen in both of these episodes, but it was just so perfect. There's a literal Minotaur in this show? Of course there's a literal Minotaur in this show.

Goodness I love seeing Jamie Brewer on this show, warms my heart to see an actress with downs making it on a show that isn't expressly about developmental issues. The one big upside to Murphy's messianic tendencies.

This show, episode two in particular, continues the Ryan Murphy theme of having all black women on his shows say "girl" every other second and act like total divas. The Voodoo Queen runs a tacky hair-braiding shop with the assistance of some slang-talkin' young black women? You betcha. I was just grateful we had moved past slave torture at that point.

Are we even shooting for actual scares on this show anymore? I haven't actually been frightened even once so far and it seems like the writers aren't even trying. In which case: good. They suck at it. Murder House was so filled with unscarey scares it was criminal. Does the Horror Story title still make sense? Barely. But it's ironically better off for it.

Andrew Allen is a television (and occasionally film) writer for Action A Go Go. He is an aspiring screenwriter and director who is currently studying at the University of Miami. You can check him out on Tumblr @andrewballen and follow him on Twitter @A_B_Allen.

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