Tired of ego-centered anti-heroes? Done with movies where 99% of everything you see is grainy CGI? Overwhelmed by flicks that keep throwing moral complexities and ethical conundrums in your face? Want to watch something that’s…wait…what’s it called again? Oh yeah….FUN? Then scrounge up a whole $8.99 and buy The Gamera Trilogy. It may be the best Bluray purchase you make all year.
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| $8.99? For over 5 hours of hi-def monster awesomeness? C’mon. That’s just a bucket of popcorn at most theaters! |
A few weeks ago the big boss man at Action A Go Go asked me to write up a piece on monsters attacking cities in preparation for the release of Pacific Rim. Being the sci-fi guy at AAGG, I said “No problem.”
But there was a problem. After careful thought and consideration, I couldn’t think of one flick I’d seen in recent years that fit that category. Well, at least any film worth writing about. Even just a few months ago I tried watching one of the original Godzilla movies from the 1960s but I couldn’t get through it. The pacing and the editing were just too damn slow. You’re leaving the camera in place for how long?
But there was a problem. After careful thought and consideration, I couldn’t think of one flick I’d seen in recent years that fit that category. Well, at least any film worth writing about. Even just a few months ago I tried watching one of the original Godzilla movies from the 1960s but I couldn’t get through it. The pacing and the editing were just too damn slow. You’re leaving the camera in place for how long?
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| Gamera says,”Grahhrhhhhyahhhh!!!!” |
With just days to go before my deadline, went to a local Best Buy determined that I’d find something to write about.
Within seconds, I saw it there on the shelf. Giant fanged turtle. Shooting fire from his gaping maw. Cities in Japan reduced to rubble and ashes. Villain monsters that looked like Rachni from Mass Effect. And perhaps most important of all? The box contained three full length films on Bluray for only $8.99.
I popped the first flick in the player with some trepidation, thinking “Okay. This won’t be good, but it’ll give me something to write about, I’ll have something to compare to Pacific Rim, and it’ll probably be so bad, at least I’ll get a few laughs. And I only have to watch one anyway.”
Within seconds, I saw it there on the shelf. Giant fanged turtle. Shooting fire from his gaping maw. Cities in Japan reduced to rubble and ashes. Villain monsters that looked like Rachni from Mass Effect. And perhaps most important of all? The box contained three full length films on Bluray for only $8.99.
I popped the first flick in the player with some trepidation, thinking “Okay. This won’t be good, but it’ll give me something to write about, I’ll have something to compare to Pacific Rim, and it’ll probably be so bad, at least I’ll get a few laughs. And I only have to watch one anyway.”
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| Gamera says,”GrahhhhhrYAHHHRAAAAAHHH.” |
Three days later, all three discs have been viewed.
There is absolutely no reason to describe plot points. They’re there and for the most part make sense. Kind of. A bit. If you’re really, really creative in your thinking. But the words “thinking” and “Gamera Trilogy” don’t really need to be found in the same paragraph do they?
However, one recurring thought in my mind while watching the movies did keep arising.
This is a complete, total and absolute cleansing of the mental palate.
The flicks are an awesome way to simply defrag, frequently smile and laugh and enjoy all the cheesy goodness of a giant turtle saving the world.
There is absolutely no reason to describe plot points. They’re there and for the most part make sense. Kind of. A bit. If you’re really, really creative in your thinking. But the words “thinking” and “Gamera Trilogy” don’t really need to be found in the same paragraph do they?
However, one recurring thought in my mind while watching the movies did keep arising.
This is a complete, total and absolute cleansing of the mental palate.
The flicks are an awesome way to simply defrag, frequently smile and laugh and enjoy all the cheesy goodness of a giant turtle saving the world.
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| Gamera says,”GRAAHHHHYEAHHHHHAHHR!” |
In a time when thousands of pages of commentary are being written online about the moral underpinnings of superheroes and should such and such an actor be paid $20 million to be in the next comic-based blockbuster, The Gamera Trilogy simply reminded me of one of the most important aspects of film going.
Having fun.
Here’s the Japanese trailer for the first of the films. And don’t worry. On the Bluray you can choose from the options of dubbed English vocals or English subtitles. But ultimately, no one needs translation for “GRARRRGHHAAYYYYAHHHURGHAH!!!”
Having fun.
Here’s the Japanese trailer for the first of the films. And don’t worry. On the Bluray you can choose from the options of dubbed English vocals or English subtitles. But ultimately, no one needs translation for “GRARRRGHHAAYYYYAHHHURGHAH!!!”
Stephen Sumner is the sci-fi columnist for Action A Go Go. You can find him on Twitter at Sumner@vierlights and on Tumblr at vierlights.tumblr.com. “Vier” is German for “four.” If you’re a Trekkie, it makes sense. If you’re not a Trekkie, look for the upcoming series “Trek for Rookies” and discover why you should be.
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