Firefly Approved Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Review

Special Note: There are two kinds of people in the world:

1) Regular people.

2) People who understand that Firefly is one of the finest shows ever created and that Joss Whedon is a master craftsman.

This review of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is written particular for folk in that second category. People in the first might think it's a bit off the axle. Dong ma? If you'd like an introduction to the show, check out Firefly for Rookies.

Now, I was raised that if I couldn't do something smart, I could always do something right. That's what I aim to do here.

Let's look the Reaver in the eye and just come out and say it: If Mal and his crew have been a regular part of your existence, maybe to the point where others might be thinking you're a bit whimsical in the brain pan, then all them reviews of Whedon's new series Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D by them'at ain't know a thing about Browncoats are about as useful as a 80-04 with unbraced extenders.

Ain't no purpose in going into story and characters. I'm not some BUN tyen-shung duh ee-DWAY-RO that's going to spoil it all if you intend to give the show a visit.

To keep it so simple that even Jayne could understand, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is shiny!

A motley crew working together in a heroic fashion? A mode of air travel big enough to have its own ramp? Gettin' into all sorts of gorram trouble while doing what's right? Some faces that might give you a tingle 'twixt your nethers? A vehicle that we know is Whedon's requisite hovercraft?

Joss Whedons Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on ABC Tuesdays at 8 Eastern.

After seeing it with my own eyes, I can say that the show is pretty. So very pretty. And that makes it mighty.

When you get right down to it, if wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak, and Firefly would be back on the air. Aw hell. That's all just air through the engines though, ain't it?

It's easier for critics to pull things apart than it is for them to make'em right. And if someone tells you Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. ain't worth watchin', just pull a Crazy Ivan and tell that Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng to go drink some Shiong mao niao.

And without damaging your calm too much, the first episode already had one familiar face we'd all remember as being more friendly to Browncoats than the Alliance. He wasn't giving any sermons though, which is a good thing, since we've already figured out that asking for help from on high is a long wait for a train don't come.

Live to serve. See you in the 'verse.

(And if you're really serious about translating the Chinese above, check out a page of awesomeness called Firefly-Serenity Chinese Pinyinary). 

Stephen Sumner is the science fiction columnist for Action A Go Go. He's proficient in Klingon swearing and has attempted the Vulcan process of Kolinar (with only mild success.) His favorite sci-fi series include Firefly, Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek. He can be followed on Twitter at https://twitter.com/VierLights or on the Tumblr machine at http://vierlights.tumblr.com/.