Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Non-review Review - S1E5 "Girl In The Flower Dress"

Intro

Tonight's episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. brought out the big guns in terms of special effects and...and...I can't do this. I just can't.

I tried. I really tried. But Whedon dedication can only go so far.

This will be what I'm designating a "Non-review Review."

When Joss Whedon's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. premiered, I came to its defense. When everyone else was pointing out plot holes and sub-par acting, I found things in the details to admire and use as inspiration for the hope of eventual improvement in future episodes. "Give it time" I said. "It's not about substance, it's about style."

I am an ardent admirer of Whedon's previous efforts. Have watched all episodes of Firefly and the film Serenity (2005) countless times. I enjoyed Buffy the Vampire Slayer for I knew what it was intended to be: lighthearted fun. And The Avengers (2012)? One of the best super hero films ever made, with the last forty five minutes possibly being the most epic CGI-driven battle scene ever.

But Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.?

All the elements which I've come to admire in previous efforts by Joss Whedon are missing:

1) Acting that pays particular attention to subtlety, even in the face of cheesy dialogue.

2) Consistently strong, witty, dry humor.

3) The occasional moments of drama that carry actual weight.

That's not happening with AoS.

After five episodes, the only actor that is deserving of a SAG card seems to be Clark Gregg who plays Coulson. The rest seem to merely be caricatures, with the seeming inability to convey nuanced emotions.

But enough of that. I'm not a fan of negative reviews.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. returns in two weeks. I may or may not with my reviews.

In the mean time, here are some things that are much cooler than tonight's episode:

1) A gif of Spock petting a cat.

2) Video of Bruce Willis jumping of the top off a skyscraper while it explodes.

3) A picture of a monkey expressing sadness and joy....simultaneously.

4) Video of Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman.

5) A killer rabbit.

6) Hulk trouncing Loki.

And since we started out with a gif of Spock, let's close with one of him. And Captain Kirk. DJ'ing a rave.

Stephen Sumner is the science fiction columnist for Action A Go Go. His favorite sci-fi series include Firefly, Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek. He can be followed on Twitter at Sumner@vierlights or on the Tumblr machine at NX01Sumner.